Thursday, June 30, 2016

Forgiving my Daughter's Killer by Kate Grosmaire

I finished this book much faster than I expected. I opened it up mainly so I could use it for a Teaser Tuesday, but the next thing I knew, I was done with the book.

Forgiving My Daughter's Killer is, like it's title says, about forgiveness. Kate's daughter Ann was killed by her boyfriend, and the book is about how she and her husband coped with her death, eventually ending in them seeking for restorative justice.

I have to say, Kate and her husband Andy have much bigger hearts than I do. They forgave Ann's killer, Connor, almost at once. There was very little of that "he must pay for what he did" type of rage that most people would feel. This is probably a result of them practicing forgiveness every day. So the lesson is: don't hold small grudges. It makes it harder to forgive the big ones.

And I think the concept of restorative justice is very interesting. According to the book, restorative justice is based on three principles:

1. Crime is a violation of people and interpersonal relationships
2. Violations create obligations on the part of the offender
3. The central obligation is the right the wrongs.

Of course, this is dependent on the criminal to realise that he's done wrong - if he thinks that what he does is right, restorative justice is not going to have an effect.

I really liked this book. While I hope never to have to experience that kind of tragedy (and I hope no one ever does), her message of continually practicing forgiveness is one that I really should be taking to heart. She and her family is living proof that it's healthier to forgive than to hold a grudge.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for a free and honest review.


  1. I have heard of restorative justice before, but not read much about it. I have heard of it being practiced for much lesser crimes--like thievery. I do not know if I could so easily forgive someone for killing a loved one.

    1. I doubt I can do something like that either, which makes what the author and her husband did that much more amazing. The book did mention that their case was very rare.


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